Der Stuff Innenseite
Stranger Than the New $20 Bill
Getting It On the Road Again
The
road trip has an unmistakable place in the American consciousness. My
guess the reason is because the good old U.S of A is so gosh-darned diverse.
For example, you can drive from the land of 10,000 lakes to the Big Easy
in a mere 20 hours and maybe swing by the Bible, Rust or Sun Belt on your
way home. Plus, nobody can resist the allure of adventure and romance
on the open road promised in classic road movies like Easy Rider
and Thelma and Louise. Personally, I've never had any big adventures
during any of the road trips I've undertaken (I'm poor you see so phrases
like "friendly skies" rarely enters my vocabulary). Although, there was
the time outside of Baltimore, Maryland, that I got to pump my own gas,
which was very exciting since I don't get to do that in New Jersey (which
is another reason why Jersey sucks).
I'll
sheepishly admit that a good chunk of the road trips I've undertaken were
to meet a lover somewhere. Honestly, I probably wouldn't bother traveling
otherwise, unless it was a major holiday and my parents insisted I come
home to take part in the holiday cheer. But, the thing about traveling
to visit someone you are sleeping with, or even if you just wish you were
sleeping with him, is that you spend the whole trip thinking about sleeping
with that person so that by the time you actually get to your destination
and take your clothes off, Its not exactly what you expected. At least,
that was my experience or maybe I'm just seeing the wrong men. Or sometimes
when I'm traveling, I think about all the different ways to initiate the
"activity" that by the time I get there, I don't know what to do with
myself. All my plans go out the window once I see his smiling face and
all I can do is bitch about the guy in the blue Escort who cut me off
near the Delaware Memorial Bridge. I am convinced that I drive faster
when I'm traveling for rendezvous with a lover.
And then there is always the problem of driving home after spending an exhausting evening or morning with a lover. Mainly, the problem is that you are exhausted, that is if you did it right. Spree candies work pretty well, since they are hard and sour, and keeps your mouth busy, since it is no longer otherwise involved. I've also found that drinking soda or iced coffee seems to keep me alert, at least while I'm consuming the beverage, then I start to get tired again.
Then there's always the problem of returning to your "real life." I never know what to do with myself, so I usually start cleaning my apartment. This is what I do whenever I haven't figured out what to do with my time. Then you go back to work and think about your lover while answering email and making photocopies. And you start to count the days until you can get in your car and start the trip all over again.